My new late-summer tradition is a letter from the HOA reprimanding me for the “weeds” in my flower beds.

Ah, clip-board-lady they are weeds to you, but to me, they are:

* Perching Places.  for the Yellow Finch and his mate.  They visit every year.  {although maybe by now it’s his son and daughter-in-law or a distant cousin.}

* Provision.  for aforementioned birds and, once the seeds fall to the ground, their friends who prefer to eat on the ground.  Sunflowers are by far the favorite.

* Winter Interest.  Have you ever seen echinacea spikes and daisy stems covered in frost??

* Hope.  And a reminder of my life.  Because even though the whole mess looks dead and messy, really, it is full of life.  It feeds and nurtures and stands {well, sort of droops} as a reminder of the blooms that will return in the Spring.

Things that make me happy and sad {at the same time}

* my chipped coffee cup

* our blind German Shepherd Dog {rescue}

* sunflowers & echinacea {in September}

* my mother’s slow walk

* my aging face

* stacks of books {the ones to give away}

* rainy days

* a good argument

One of my biggest “wrestles” in art journaling has been What To Write. I have spent a lot of time sorting and classifying my thoughts before ever making the first handwriting stroke.  I spent years collecting quotes and taking notes from other people’s writing and talks, all the time busily making beautiful pages that were void of my own true thoughts and feelings.

Decorating pages was the first phase of my art journaling, but the next {and to me more powerful} stage was getting authentic with my content.  To do this, I had to deal with some old messages and judgments – the deeply embedded belief systems that controlled my story for years.  It was second nature to filter and modify my emotions BEFORE approaching the pages.  {especially if the pages were beautiful and the content not so much…}

There are many reasons that we keep secrets.  A friend of mine is fond of saying:  “We’re only as sick as the secrets that we keep.”  It is easy to believe that our secrets will betray us, expose us and ultimately consume us.  My art journal has shown me that I have options.

These days, I’m much more candid in my pages than in my early years of heavy editing and my later years of avoidance.  These days, I just write what I think and feel.  Where I am.  What I’m doing. What I’m thinking.  UNFILTERED. These days, I know the power in a folded page; I know that I can glue in an envelope and collect uncomfortable things for later.  Being honest in my pages, keeps me here, in my life.  My energy goes to art instead of dancing the Containing-Pain-and-Fear Dance.  The surprise for me has been in the demystification.  It’s amazing how writing something down causes movement.  I can:

*  capture.

*  release.

*  paint over.

*  pursue further.

* write clearly

* write messily {or in disappearing ink}

*  tuck away.

Writing it down doesn’t mean I’m sharing.  Writing it down means I’m facing the secret; looking it square in the eye.  It means that I am in charge.  I have choices.  The secrets don’t have to win

Feel the victory.  Write a secret in your journal. Fold the page and let it go.

A few pages into the Canson Mixed Media book.  This is the first time that I’ve journaled extensively in a spiral bound book.  Wow, I didn’t realize how often I create double page spreads;  I’m having to get used to the wire in the middle of the page.  {Although so far, I love the weight of the paper!  It’s been great for both watercolor and acrylic.  Want to see how it handles marker soon.}

This spread is for a weekly prompt group on fb created by my friend Lee Ann.  It’s called Joy in the Journey: Art Journal Prompts.  Lee Ann is a dear friend from college; a natural creative who is relatively new to art journaling and is handing out weekly prompts to dive into her journal.

This past week’s prompt was the word TRUST.  I’m posting these almost finished pages, so that I can share supplies and technique with the group.  As you can see, this was one of those pages where I had to work around the wire…

{background is Winsor & Newton Phthalo Blue Red Shade It’s from the Infinity Artists’ series, but I mixed it down with white craft paint and water and applied it like watercolor over a layer of tissue paper.  The tissue layer is adhered with matte Mod Podge.  Just a note – paint, especially when watered down behaves differently on the surface of the sealer, so you’ll get a different color and texture than on the neighboring unsealed paper.  I added an thin white layer on top of the sealed tissue to create contrast for the text.  Top layers:  Pellegrino label, stickers, torn paper sack and bird punched out from a piece of saved stationary.  Black lettering:  Ultra Fine Point Pilot G2 0.38 and white lettering: ZIG Opaque Writer

Text reads as follows:

It is amazing to me that I have boarded an airplane and crossed over the ocean when {I DON’T REALLY UNDERSTAND} the intricacies of aerodynamics…

I believe the information on a nutrition label. {or is it that I ignore disbelief?} I will even eat in a restaurant without ever examining what is behind the kitchen door… but I don’t trust you.

Are we born without trust? Or do we have it and then lose it?

How do you move from here {nest} ———> to here {flying}

Yesterday, I got a precious note from a new art friend with the subject line:  Inspire. She says my pages inspire her.  So humbling and wonderful to hear.  It brought this quote from Marian Bantjes to mind: “Inspiration is cross-pollinating.”

I found myself dumbfounded when I read the word inspire, because I don’t think of my pages as inspirational.  I’m not trying to be overly modest or deny my talent, I am just very aware that my pages were created in the midst of everyday life. To me they’re muddy, messy and raw.  {and often in the never-never land of unfinished work/idea capture.} If there’s any inspiration in my pages, I think it comes from the fact that they happen in and around my life.  I love the quote because it captures the illusive way that inspiration happens.

It passes from person to person and from sunset to moonlight.  Sometimes flying through the wind or on butterfly wings…

I wrestle with managing time like most people and have found a tremendous amount of give and take in the small moments.  Left to my natural bent, I am very “all or nothing” in my approach to any project or task.  It used to be if I couldn’t finish it, make it perfect and/or win something {approval, a prize or recognition} that I didn’t even take it up.  This carried over into all aspects of my life.  Needless to say, life doesn’t work that way.  The unexpected comes.  Limits are realized.  Lack of perfection rears it’s ugly head.  People don’t see.  It had gotten to the point where my life was full of teaching and empowering other creatives, but I had stopped creating.  The list of why I had stopped was long:

*  I had no dedicated space.

*  As a homeschooling mom of five, there seemed to be no time.

*  Art is messy.

*  Art costs  money.

*  To justify making art, I felt like I needed to sell art.

*  I wasn’t sure anyone wanted to buy my art.  {circle round to points above}

*  Because I get lost in my all-or-nothing ways, I was afraid that wouldn’t tend to my family properly.

These were just a few of my objections, which stayed firmly in place, until I traveled with a friend to CO for some down time.  No kids, no husband, just time away for thinking and retreating.  It was January and I had the new camera that my husband had bought and put in my hands at Christmas.  Despite my arguments against the purchase, he said simply, “It’s time.”  On that trip, I realized how uncomfortable I had become with my creative self.  And acknowledged that I had put all of my creativity, literally and figuratively, in a box in the closet.  I had taken a blank journal on the trip with me, but I had entered nothing but the words of others.   When I came home, I had a few photos on the new camera, some thoughts of my own that needed a place to go & the realization that I couldn’t hand The Creative Life to my children if I didn’t model it.

And thus began the transformation of my daily habits.  I started carrying my camera and an empty book around with me.  At first the books were filled mostly with sermon notes and quotes from the books I was reading.  My sketching was really rusty and a constant source of frustration, so, for images,I turned to the camera more and more often.  Until I found this book:

The Decorated Page by Gwen Diehn

My pages started to change.  First, with swirly text, then to turning the book around occasionally and writing upside down or in circles.  Eventually I was gluing in ephemera and adding color and paint.   And then I found this book:

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

In its pages,  I found a little more permission to call myself an artist and make art.

Today, art is a daily habit.  It’s the way that I begin my day.  I am more myself, if I wake up early in the morning to read and write for an hour. In that time, I also, orient to the calendar, and often decorate a page for the day.  These days, in addition to my camera, I carry around ridiculous numbers of pens and crayons for making pages.  And I don’t apologize for stopping and writing down a quote or taking a photo.  Despite those habits, I have continued to avoid sketching.  Mostly because it’s a skill that’s rusty and not perfect.

Then yesterday, I ran across this book:

Start to Draw your Life by Michael Nobbs

It’s full of inspiration and ideas for adding the habit of drawing to your life.  {you can download the free ebook HERE}

Here’s my first sketch. {I took 30 min. of my morning time.}  It’s not finished, nor is it perfect, but it’s a start.

I’ll have to work this habit into my days.  No doubt one thing or another will fall through the cracks, but I’m getting better at picking up the pieces and gluing them into my books.

I have been and am being inspired by others.

And I am, with my every day life and daily habits participating in the cross-pollination of inspiration.

Inspiration, pass it on.

When I went downstairs for coffee…

these juice labels were on the counter.   Someone in the house left them for me. {I suspect The Girl because she currently has kitchen duty.}

They make me happy – happy – happy.  Happy because:

*  after running through a dishwasher cycle, the labels faded to a fabulous chartreuse color.

*  empty jars are my next DIY project

*  ephemera/labels on the counter and not in the trash = I am known in my house.

A very dear college friend has discovered the world of art journaling.  {Yay! LA} And she jumped into the deep end of the pool by creating a facebook group that gives weekly prompts.  She’s asked me to help administrate, which I am joyfully doing!  This past week’s prompt {and the first of this journey that she and I are sharing} is the word, MOVE.

I had a decorated page with no text that was waiting at the very end of my current journal, so I used it.  {since today is Saturday and LA is giving us a new prompt tomorrow.}

The written text reads as follows:

“I am a thinker and a planner.  I like to UNDERSTAND before I take Action.

just MOVE ——->

sometimes I will think and plan AND NEVER START.

I don’t like mistakes and seemingly perfect people really freak me out.  Which is all a jumble of the same idea.

Nothing will ever be PERFECT.

{Detail added to background word PLAY:  On a side note, I forget to play.}

Materials:  Background painted with Delta craft paint color Territorial Beige, layered with Windsor & Newton Cotman Water Colours and Staedtler Watercolor Crayons.  {the black circles are from the bottom of the watercolor crayon twisted dry onto wet paper.} Grey circles are from the dirty water swirled around on the page.  The green collage element is torn from a yoga magazine and glued in with matte Mod Podge.  The gold is tissue paper.  {Even  though it’s matte sealer, the page is still shiny and hard to photograph…}  Pens used:  ZIG Opaque Writer in white and a Pilot G2 {0.38}