Mandala Monday: A mandala for beginning

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mandala & journal pages

Mandala for beginning
{extra fine sharpie marker}

October 1.  If I was a resolution maker, I’d be making some resolutions, because for me this is the beginning of the year.  I used to think it was because I’ve been on a school calendar for most of my life, but after years of gardening and listening, I now know it has more to do with the fact, that I’m tuned into cycles.  The circles and the coming and goings of seeds and seasons.

sunflower seed headAs I was driving down the road last week, over about a 10 mile section of road, I saw three different sets of vultures circling.   A reminder to set my eyes on the circle of life.  Leaves are starting to fall, the garden is a bit of mess in the loveliest of ways.  Alive with migrating butterflies and seed pods and deadheads that are feeding the birds now and falling to the ground for next year.

handful of October leavesNew things are beginning.  Odd to be so aware of them when everything seems brown and tired.  But the crisp air, fresh apples and pumpkin candles smell like Hope.  And my orange sweater with the big brown button is my party attire.

Speaking of new things.  IGNITE starts today.  IGNITE is ten month, highly intensive FEARLESS® Painting Teacher Training program.  Tonight, twelve of us will gather and begin this journey together.  I’ve been painting pages and cleansing spaces in preparation for the soul work ahead.  I’m not really a resolution maker.  Resolutions feel too much like the performance-for-affirmation hoops I’ve stepped away from.  I am however an intention setter.  These are my intentions for IGNITE and this next season:

Dried hydrangeasI wish to begin with courage, reverence and authenticity and with eyes, arms and heart wide open.  In this season, I choose to honor individual story, approach and timing as I trust the Holy Spirit to reveal Path, plumb depths and clarify Voice.  Bendiciones.

 

 

The Spiritual Discipline of Journey

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Stairs outside Chiang Mai, Thailand

exploring outside Chiang Mai, Thailand

“Journeys open up our spirit to the possibility of a reality it hasn’t yet grasped.”  Seth Barnes

 

The first time that I met Seth Barnes, was January of this year, 2012. I was sitting next to him in a room full of people, in a cabin in North Georgia. Randy and I had just said yes to being coaches on the World Race, this thing that we knew we were supposed to do, but didn’t yet fully understand. At that point, all we knew was that a group of 20 – 30 somethings would be traveling to 11 countries in 11 months and that our volunteer work would be to meet them at different points along their journey and “coach” them. We knew in our gut that we were supposed to respond with a yes.  At least Rands did. I was not so confident. As the boundaries around my time and space are newly forged, I was hesitant. It had been years since we’d yes to something, anything, without a lot of facts and research. For crying out loud, we took weeks to choose a refrigerator and there we were, within a few days of being asked, handing over a precious yes.

 

Honestly, the yes came out of trust in our friend Rozy, not out of any huge understanding of the organization or of what we were getting ourselves into. Clearly, my knowledge was limited, because at our coaches training, I was sitting next to the founder of AIM [Adventures in Missions] and didn’t know who he was.

 

I didn’t know him, but, I recognized a fellow “life catcher” and scribe when I laid eyes on his journal. It was a simple, humble composition notebook. The kind with a black and white marbled cover, that you can get every back-to-school-season in the US for about fifty cents. A plain notebook, filled with words and lists and ideas. Of course, I asked about it right away. It turned out that, like the man, the book was humble externally, yet filled with brilliance.

 

“Tell me about your journal.”

 

And he did.

 

The magnetic pull of that journal, soon had me caught up in one of the most fascinating conversations of my life. I now know, that I was hearing bits and pieces from the book, Kingdom Journeys.

 

Kingdom Journeys book, passport and travel journal

passport & Nairobi page in my WR travel journal

I love good stories, which means I love good conflict. Part of the reason that I am passionate about capturing personal narrative is because when you begin to document your own story, you inevitably find tension. And, it is in conflict, paradox and tension, that we find God. Seth walks in Pilgrimage and Journey, in the same way that I embrace journaling & artistic practice – as a spiritual discipline.  He says on page 18 of Kingdom Journeys:

 

“I will always think of Chiapas as the place where my journeys collided. It took a physical journey to complete a spiritual one.”

 

And later, he speaks of Restlessness.  A sensation that can be a curse and lead to vain wanderings or be a motivator, a gift, that can lead to a calling.

“Traditional peoples found ways to turn the Curse of Restlessness into the Git of Restlessness by weaving it into the sacred.  They made a spiritual discipline out of leaving. some call it a pilgrimage or a rite of passage or an initiation experience… The essence has always been about tapping into restlessness to help people discover the divine at work: both in the world and in themselves.  Their journey turned the curse in the Gift it was meant to be.”

 

So, true. A year ago Randy and I didn’t know that the World Race and AIM existed. We had no idea that we would journey to far-flung places with our beloved D Squad. We had no idea that our hearts would be shifting and expanding to hurt big and love big. After our last trip, I wrote:

I am no longer satisfied with a comfortable, small existence. I understand that I must stretch my courage and my heart. Painful? I expect so. Maybe, there will even be more pain. God help me. Fear, stand aside. I am discovering what I am made of. I am made of vulnerability and I am in total dependence on God. Safety is no longer an option.

 

 

Elephant ride in Thailand jungle

Elephant ride in Thailand jungle

“All of us are on a journey. We can’t escape the beginning and the end, but the middle is full of crazy possibilities.”

pg. 23 Kingdom Journeys

 

For a free download of Seth Barnes’ book Kingdom Journeys: Rediscovering the Lost Spiritual Discipline, go HERE.  [through September 29, 2012]

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the Pages: On being an Empty Page Ninja

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Untitled

 

“I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted.”

Jack Kerouac

 

Monday, September 17, 2012

In my ever-evolving journaling practice, I am discovering the power of the Empty page.  I  like to differentiate between a blank page and an empty page.

 

A blank page, can be daunting.  A blank page is demanding; it uses obnoxious tones or bellows.  Quite frankly, it can be a bit of a bully.  And bullies require push back and fighting skills.  Which some days, I just don’t have…
Untitled

 {origami paper, acrylic paint, 2×2 postal pix, watercolor, graphite, Sharpie pen fine}

But an empty page says, “Hey there, your mind looks full.  Why don’t you put those words and ideas over here.  In this box.  On this pretty paper.”

Untitled

{tissue paper, acrylic paint, graphite, 4×4 postal pix}

and, “Look at all that brilliance; this corner has been waiting for just that very thought.”  An empty page is a good friend who knows exactly what you need.

In my practice, I’ve come to set aside a day, every 7 to 10 days, to create empty pages.  Safe places to tuck words, images and ephemera.  Empty pages, by my definition, are pages that are started.  Pages with soft edges that don’t screech with blankness, but instead with a calm voice, point the way to expression and life.

I like to create more pages than I think I’ll need, so that I don’t worry about space or rationing.  For me, that’s about 6 – 10 double page spreads in one session.  And then, I put away most of the supplies.  The magazine pages and the paints tuck away and I settle into a quieter method.  At hand, I keep a pen, a glue stick, a sharpie, something that writes in white and my ever-present watercolors.  With prepped “empty pages” in my bag, I’m free to carry only a glue stick and a pen or two.  [If I’m traveling, I’ll add Inktense pencils and a water brush.]   In that simple place and pace, I’m able to put my energy into capturing rather than creating from scratch.

Untitled

{paper tape, magazine cutout, 2×2 postal pix, Inktense pencil}

 Once I’ve made a handful of pages, I even free myself from writing things down in order.  I just find the empty space that matches what I have to say…or glue, or sketch.

One of the things I talk about extensively in workshop is the fact that my journals are not art journals.  The pages aren’t planned with emphasis on the final product.  They are a vital part of how I process life.  They are part of my spiritual practice and they ultimately inform my art, as I don’t differentiate between the two.  I write lists, draw, glue things down and capture thoughts.  In the pages and with a camera, I am in my life and listening to the Holy Spirit.
Let Go

{paper tape, white Jelly Roll pen, ink pad, tissue paper, acrylic paint, magazine cut out, stamps, graphite}

Empty pages create space and safety which ultimately allow me to be victorious over the Blank Page Bully.  Empty pages make my practice more contemplative and less like a battle.  Well, maybe still a battle, but one where I’m a ninja not a stormtrooper.  Here’s to climbing over fears, worries and stalls, one empty page at a time.