From the Archive: Hidden Treasure

Adventures in Frustration or A Hidden Treasure

Sunday, October 1, 2006

The light in October is beautiful and totally worth sacrificing breakfast and a little sleep to capture.  That’s why this past Saturday morning found me out in a field, in the early morning, waiting for the sun to illuminate dew drops just the right way.  The light was perfect and the sky was stunning, but at this location, I couldn’t find a view without power lines.  In the end, I trudged home, wet and frustrated, in search of coffee,  having decided that the “shoot” was a bust.

When I got home and off-loaded the 50 or so shots that I had taken, my suspicions were confirmed.  Between the ever-present power lines & my shaking hands, {It was cold as well as early...} none of the shots turned out to be what I envisioned when I set out.  Too blurry or too full of extra information, there didn’t seem to be any keepers except for one set of three shots that had pretty color in the sky and a silhouetted flower stalk with a single dew drop, in the foreground.   Of the three, one shot was in focus;  I liked the composition of another;  and one seemed unimpressive on both fronts.  Obviously they didn’t strike me as magical when I shot them, because I didn’t even remember taking them.  Still, I was pretty glad that there was some payoff for the pile of wet clothes and all the frustration inside my head and spilling onto Randy.


{And by the way, when is my creative practice ever worth sacrificing important relationships?...}

I decided late last night to take the one shot that had decent composition and fashion some sort of apology to Rands for being such a grump.   I also decided to take a closer look at the few individual shots that were closest to my ideal and see if metadata and intense scrutiny would reveal the adjustments needed for the situation next time.

{the situation =  the place of dealing with change, discomfort and an environment that doesn’t match large ideals.}

I almost missed it.  I almost hit delete...

September sky in dewdrop

There hidden inside the third unimpressive shot was a hidden treasure.  Reflected in the face of the dew drop was an image of the incredible sky that I had been striving so hard to capture.  There suspended on the end of a dried flower stalk, in a throw away shot, was a reminder that anything that I “create” is simply a reflection of God’s glory.   It was a prompt to look closely at what seems to be, by my analysis something to discard, and find every bit of what God has for me.

Art is Life is Art: Collaboration & 9 months of words

calendar & mandalaOver the past several months, it’s been my privilege to sit and chat with my new friend, the lovely Meghan Arias.   We talk about all sorts of things.

* beautiful things

* creative things

* spiritual things

* favorite beer things

* cemeteries and their stories

* our people and their stories

We talk about the past and the future, but mostly we talk about this: 

Art + Mommy = X

X = blocked

X = conflicted

X = all or nothing

X = a dance

X = synergistic

X = not the same as before

The last time we met, Meghan and I talked about how motherhood has changed the structure of the creative process in our lives.  We no longer have the freedom to wait on inspiration or feeling to create.  We no longer create when it is convenient for us.  Instead, art happens in and around motherhood and life.  In planned spaces.  Or in unplanned spaces.  In studios.  Or in nooks and crannies.  Written in neat handwriting.  Or scribbled on a napkin.  Often times art happens in ways that are counter-intuitive to our natural bent.

We confessed that we don’t like it.

We shook our fists.

We may have even cried a little, but just a little, cause we’re tough like that.

And then we laughed.  Seriously, we bounced in our seats.  Because in the deepest part of who we are, the need to create supersedes the need to be angry about our less than perfect studio spaces.

In the midst of discussions about calendars and schedules, deadlines and shows, we decided to create a collaborative space of our own.  Thus, each month from April to December, we’ll choose a word and respond creatively to that word.  Simple, I know.  But, simple is good, since between the two of us, we:

*write words and songs

* paint stuff

* glue paper on things

* sing

* parent 9 children

* run businesses and manage creative careers

* read lots of books

* work on our vocabularies

* and make copious lists

We have decided that our motherhood is a reason, not an excuse.

9 months worth of words.  Very gestational and birth-like.  It is in keeping with the motherhood theme.  We have a pretty awesome list of words – some nouns, some verbs & even some adjectives and adverbs.  It’s a list of words that have been sitting in our hearts and minds percolating.

Bubbling to the top for April, is the word Surrender.  I’ve been carrying the word around in my pocket for a couple of weeks now.  Noticing it.  Looking it up.  Breathing it in.  Waking up with it on the tip of my pen.  This time ’round I’m making pages.  Keep an eye out for posts concerning our current word – there may be more than one.  {What can I say, we’re Word Girls.}  Meghan and I will link to each other’s blog and invite you to join us by leaving a link in the comments.    We’ll then scoop up all the collaboration and share the love.

I leave you with a question & a prayer for Surrender.  {From my journal yesterday morning}

A question:  What does it look like to let go of control in the creative process?

A prayer:

CameraBag_Photo_1001

O Love that will not let me go,

I’m still holding on.  Some things are precious to me and I don’t want them to change.  Others are broken and beg to be hidden.  As I become aware of these holding-on places, I reveal them to you.  I confess I have tried to hide and compensate and have grown weary.  I Surrender.  I accept this time and place.  I bring my gifts and my wounds and trust that you will display your works in and through my surrendered places.

Art is Life is Art: Show up for today

The following is part of a response to a discussion at the wild thyme creative facebook page

“…much of my current artistic work is in the capture of little moments. While I paint large scale and create mixed-media pieces on a regular basis, my daily practice involves what I call Art-in-the-Crevices. It’s the sketches and songs that happen because I carry my journal EVERYWHERE. It’s the partial poem I pen while I’m waiting and the photos from my phone.  Too often we get caught up in our expectations of the perfect environment and miss the beauty and truth all around us in the little moments. Honestly, it’s those little bits and pieces that keep me sane and present in my “real life”. Ultimately it’s the small captures that inform and birth the larger work.”

The little moments are where I’m living these days.  Concerning wild thyme creative,  I am both processing my archive and making plans for the future.  {This very much mirrors what is going on in my personal life too…}  I’m simultaneously reading old blog entries full of my emotions and thoughts from the past and  planning & dreaming for the future.  All necessary and exciting, but sometimes, I find it a challenge to just show up for today – to experience what it’s like to be in my skin, here and now.

I used to take these little “life bytes” for granted – now I give myself credit for capturing them and count it as my art.  My daily prayer is that I simply show up for what’s in my world today.  Here’s a tiny list {surprise!} of things I do to Stay Present:

* Write down {or draw or paint} exactly what I’m feeling at least once a day.

this is how I have felt for days...

* Go out in the garden barefoot.

I think it’s super important to feel the ground under your feet, where you are. I go out and tune into the following:

~ what I see around my feet

~ what I feel under my feet

~ what I hear around me

{I generally stay and breathe and observe until I can feel my breath all the way down to my toes…}

* Take a photo & notes based on your observations. {I write things down because I like to remember, but the point is to tune in.}

LEE_9785-1

This photo says:

* It is cold & wet.  But I am not afraid of inclement weather or events.

* There are weeds in the garden & I need a pedi.  It’s time to slow down and tend to self & home.

* The birds are singing.  I have a voice.

* The ground is solid.  I have a place to stand.

I am petite.  But I am not small.

Things are a little messy.  Discovery & expression are found in messy.



Drips and Mistakes you don't scare me anymore

Awaken

“Magic happens just by being present in your body.” Baron Baptiste