The price of love #100sharesproject 29/100

Version 2
“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”
~ Brene Brown The Gifts of Imperfection:  Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
 
Tuesday 17 May 2016
29/100
Y’all loving deep and true is hard.  It is the richest experience.  And if you are separated from the one you love, it’s the worst.
This past week has been full of grief.  Families that we love have experienced profound loss.
I’ve lost count of the number of conversations that I’ve had about how to grieve well.  We all just want to know what to do with heartache.  I hope this short list helps you stay present with the grief. 
 

Version 2

  • NAME THE EMOTION  Grief is nuanced and the emotions are varied.  Step into every piece of grief.
  • FEEL THE EMOTION
    [Sometimes you won’t know the name of an emotion until after you feel it.]  It’s just not enough to say the name of the emotion, you must feel it.  This series by Rob Bell on “Learning to lament” is brilliant.  It’s full of permission to walk straight into the emotion.  I know I shared it a couple of days ago, but I’m sharing it again because I need it again.
  • CREATE A CONTAINER [a journal, a counselor or a safe group of people]  Whatever it looks like, find a place to acknowledge and offload your story and experience.
  • PRACTICE SELF CARE  | TAKE THE TIME IT TAKES  Pay attention to what you need and let it take as long as it takes.  This is hard.  We’re wired to check things off and be efficient.  Grief will not be rushed.
  • REACH OUT & SEEK SUPPORT  Don’t go it alone.  Seasons of grief are when we need support the most.

11 November 2015 Yesterday was filled with errand-running and deep conversations and holding space for others at the studio. On those days, I'm moving through a dance rather than a clear sequential list. I have to determine when to slow down and when to activate. I have to know when to hold fast and when to adjust. I give myself #lifepoints for things like taking an important phone call, getting up early to study and tidying the kitchen counter before heading upstairs to bed. I love this page from yesterday's open studio time. It's favorite colors on top of notes from a conversation that is long over, with a serendipitous smear of color to tie it all together. #ebbandflow #beinyourlife #soultending

Dealing with grief is a process that takes time. Give yourself the space to name and feel your feelings, practice self-care and seek support.  Grief is unruly and not easily managed.  It doesn’t go away or behave.  It must simply be contented with.
Grief is the price we pay for loving well.  I am heartbroken and continue to be firmly convinced that loving true is worth the risk.
Hug your people.  BE in your life,
Betsy
By | 2016-10-19T14:20:25+00:00 May 17th, 2016|Uncategorized|4 Comments

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About the Author:

I create containers for words and paint and I fill them. I craft safe, sacred spaces for people to wrestle, create, heal and shout from the mountain tops.   And I teach people to do all of these things for themselves.