“Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty. Complaint is the bitter howl of unbelief in any benevolent God in this moment, a distrust in the love-beat of the Father’s heart.”

Ann Voskamp

Yesterday was a horrible, melt-down kind of day.  R tried to find me and missed time after time.  My judgments about safety & place for story, like a pair of sunglasses worn inside the house, were my only filters, leaving me with a dark view.     In addition, my sensory filters were gone and I was raw; noises were too loud and lights were too bright.  Clutter and projects were completely overwhelming and I chose independence over trying to be understood.  I cried all day and into the evening when a migraine finally put me out of my misery and I retreated to bed.

Ironically, I was supposed to be counting happiness moments.

I started with a cute face coffee mug.

Then I found a letter from a friend that had gotten lost in the Christmas mail bin.

That’s as far as I got, after that it was all tears.  Hence the crumpled handkerchief.

A wise friend told me years ago that maturity isn’t a life void of challenge and loss of perspective; maturity is simply having a good turn-around-time in your heart and mind.  My turn around time is getting better.  It used to be about 20 years, now I’m in the 24 hour to 2 week range.

Yesterday was a mess; today is rainy and quiet with a cup of tea and a lot of writing.

I’m collecting 1000 gifts in hopes that the daily practice of a paradigm shift towards joy and gratitude will guard my heart and improve my turn-around-time.   {If you’re on Instagram, check #1kGiftsDare_wildthyme or go HERE and see the first 31 gifts.}