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[T]here is wisdom in every man, in every father, in your father. And that’s true whether you love him or despise him. ~Joe Kita, “Introduction,” Wisdom of Our Fathers, 1999

Sunday 19 June 2016


Gosh, these card store holidays are just hard.  A mixed bag of love and loss and heartache and joy.  I cannot talk about all the love I have on this day, without keeping close, those for whom the word Father is a place of wounding or sadness.

My father has been gone from this earth for over a decade.  And let me say this, the saying about time healing all wounds is only partially true.  While it’s true that I don’t miss my father daily like I used to, the passage of time doesn’t compensate for the fact that grief doesn’t play fair.

The sensation of loss fades, but anniversaries and holidays and surprise moments haven’t gone away.  I can be walking along just fine and then trip in a gopher hole memory.    Sometimes I cry and sometimes I enjoy a happy memory.   I never know which it will be.

Days like today are never straight up celebration.  There’s so much to be grateful for and yet, it’s also mixed with a little sadness.   I miss you Daddy.


Today our family celebrates one of the best men I know.  Rands you love us with acts of service and sacrifice.  Your heart is bigger than your biceps.  Which is no small thing!  You share wisdom generously and make things happen.  Your embrace has reached exceedingly far beyond the children we birthed.  We love your dad jokes, your grandpa slippers and the way that you champion creativity.  We are grateful for your open hands, honest prayers and countless acts of service.  You simultaneously guard the perimeter and share your heart.  You are a rare breed.  All the love and respect.

Father's Day picture

1996 Family portrait by Joshua Garmon, age 7