“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”~ Brene Brown The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Tuesday 17 May 2016
Y’all loving deep and true is hard. It is the richest experience. And if you are separated from the one you love, it’s the worst.
This past week has been full of grief. Families that we love have experienced profound loss.
I’ve lost count of the number of conversations that I’ve had about how to grieve well. We all just want to know what to do with heartache. I hope this short list helps you stay present with the grief.
- NAME THE EMOTION Grief is nuanced and the emotions are varied. Step into every piece of grief.
- FEEL THE EMOTION [Sometimes you won’t know the name of an emotion until after you feel it.] It’s just not enough to say the name of the emotion, you must feel it. This series by Rob Bell on “Learning to lament” is brilliant. It’s full of permission to walk straight into the emotion. I know I shared it a couple of days ago, but I’m sharing it again because I need it again.
- CREATE A CONTAINER [a journal, a counselor or a safe group of people] Whatever it looks like, find a place to acknowledge and offload your story and experience.
- PRACTICE SELF CARE | TAKE THE TIME IT TAKES Pay attention to what you need and let it take as long as it takes. This is hard. We’re wired to check things off and be efficient. Grief will not be rushed.
Dealing with grief is a process that takes time. Give yourself the space to name and feel your feelings, practice self-care and seek support. Grief is unruly and not easily managed. It doesn’t go away or behave. It must simply be contented with.Grief is the price we pay for loving well. I am heartbroken and continue to be firmly convinced that loving true is worth the risk.Hug your people. BE in your life,Betsy
- REACH OUT & SEEK SUPPORT Don’t go it alone. Seasons of grief are when we need support the most.